That’s it. After nearly eight years of living together Roomie and I have separated. Her and her boyfriend have taken over ‘our’ place and I have moved on.
It’s actually been about a month and a half since the split but finally the dust has settled and I feel like I’m able to talk about it now. OK that is WAY over dramatizing, but I feel like since it has been so long since we’ve talked I should give you something salacious. (Oooh good word!)
Eight years of living with Roomie, has taught me a lot about myself (and even more about her); and all told I wouldn’t have traded that time for anything. Our situation was supposed to be temporary, to help me get back on my feet financially, it was when we moved together three and a half years ago that we joked this might be permanent. (Secretly I think our parents are still holding out hope we’ll end up together.)
Eight years. That is nearly a decade. It’s longer than most marriages; according to divorcepeers.com it is almost a year longer than the median. (Yup, I looked it up, it’s called research folks). Our first weekend “apart” we spent together setting up my new place. Old habits die hard.
Eight years is a long time to think about someone and how your daily life affects theirs. Who showers first? How quiet was I when I snuck in last night? Do I call when I am not coming home so she doesn’t worry? Is that my cheese or her cheese?
Eight years of sharing bad days, good days, picking each other up after broken relationships, celebrating successes, supporting each other through everything from what shoes to wear (mostly me) to career advice. You know those really intense phone conversations you have with your best friend where you talk about EVERYTHING, and laugh about nothing, and end up just watching TV together on the phone, commenting on whatever is happening on-screen? I had eight years of that.
Frankly I miss it.
I love my new apartment and having all my stuff out, and decorating, and showering whenever I want, and having people over, and listening to MY music, and everything else that comes with the independence of living alone.
But when I stopped the other day. I missed it. I missed coming home to someone. Someone who will talk about my bad day with me, someone who cares that I AM home; someone to cook dinner for, and to take the remote from me because frankly I am “a terrible driver” and I like to watch commercials. I miss someone encouraging me to do something different, to confirm I look decent enough to leave the house. Someone who gives me tough love, and when I need it, just love.
More specifically, I miss tripping over Roomie’s sparkly shoes, and hearing her laugh when I try to say something in Japanese. I miss the cat. I miss making snarky remarks at the TV shows and laughing with her. I miss spending everyday with my best friend.
I am by nature fiercely independent. Always have been, ask my mum. I love living alone and am super excited about this next chapter. I’ve enjoyed the last month immensely. But I just needed to acknowledge how grateful I am to Roomie for the last eight years.
As for Roomie and I? We’ll be fine; you don’t go through that much with someone and stop talking. She’s my best friend, my partner in crime, the person I still message and call when I need to run something by someone. I hear her voice in my head still, when I reach for something black at the clothing store (don’t worry, I put it down!), or when something happens just like she said it would. We still have keys to each other’s apartments. The only changes are that when I come home I don’t trip over her shoes and it takes four minutes instead of four seconds to walk over and see her for a laugh… and from now on you’ll all know her as M*.
As she says “we both know too many secrets about each other not to be best friends.”
x
As you know, we’ve been STBBF’s (Soon To Be Best Friends) for a long time now. No disrespect to “Roomie”, cuz she’s great, but I’m willing to take our relationship to the BFF level if need be
Seriously though, when the F can I come over and help you decorate the new pad?
Hey STBBF!
You can come over anytime and help! Trust me I need it, at a certain point I looked around shrugged and said “meh I’ll just get LE to come over!” I believe this is also how guys decorate their bachelor pads. You’ll have to come over soon, I’m getting dangerously close to hanging movie posters on the wall.
Let me start with telling you that I subscribe to your blog so I get the “updates” to my work e-mail (because it’s hit n’ miss if I even read my personal e-mails at all… weird hey?). It’s just about 8:00pm and it looks like another all-nighter at the office this week; due to my brutal workload, I don’t even open personal messages nowadays, even if they come to my work e-mail. But then you msg’d me that you wrote about me in your blog… and as YOUUUUU, better than anyone else in the world (excluding Mom), know that I love ANYTHING about MEEE (good or bad) – I took my first break of the day (excluding my 8 min break used to ridicule my co-worker about all the scabs and bruises he’s accumulated – his new nickname is “scabby” btw) to read your blog. I wish I saved it for home but, who knows when I’ll get there! I sat here tearing up reading this ‘cuz I miss you, too NotSoPositive!!! I was saying to the manfriend that I miss living with you… and last night, I actually pulled out a “She’sNotSoPositive would do that for me!!!” when trying to convince him to grab me a sub cuz I felt icky and didn’t want to leave the apartment (miss that?). I miss your Japrish (equivalent to Engrish, in case you didn’t know)… cuz it was AWFUL but you really gave it your all and it made me super excited and hopeful when you would get the accent just right! Hopeful because I still hope for the day you’ll know enough that we can make fun of white people in front of them without having to lower our voices… not that we do that. *cough* – Like you, I also miss you cooking for me ;o) I think about you every day and wonder what you’re up to and hope that it’s ridiculous. I was trying to explain our “banter”, to the manfriend, that has gained us audiences in supermarkets, elevators, lobbies, etc. – we should seriously think about taking that show on the road… it’ll just be you and I on stage, just talking to each other or watching TV together, picking out food/clothes, etc. and just being “us”… and get PAID for that shit instead of giving it away for free (I’m still talking about conversation). I have so much more to say but, have to get back to work… in a nutshell, I miss you and miss “us” – CALL ME!!! I may have run-on here but I can’t see what I’ve written in this comment box… but I trust that you get me
) *DRUNK HUG*
Ahh the drunk hug! For the record readers this is about the only time M* hugs and definitely the only time she does it in public.
I love that all of that was in one big long block of text, I miss your rambles. I was also telling a manfriend (leave that for another post) recently that I was lonely. He said “why didn’t you just call me to come over?” My reply “Because I’m lonely for M*, I see you all the time”, wait was that wrong? Don’t answer that.
And you’re right I would’ve gone to get you a “toasted tuna with extra cheese on Italian Herb & Cheese with a strip of dijon and italian dressing, no tomatoes and just a few banana peppers”. Tell your manfriend he better step up or he’ll be out of a job
Just kidding I love him! (Did he like the leftovers on Friday) 
I’m off to make homemade pizza now… I keep waiting for the two of you to just show up in my apartment at dinner time.
x