She's Not That Positive

I’m positive about a lot of things, in a pessimistic kind of way.

OH-EM-GEE: Breakthrough – Maybe I can do this! May 3, 2013

The last few months have consisted of stress, sleepless nights, stress, crying myself to sleep, self-doubt, no fun, stress, days and days (and nights and nights) alone studying, did I mention stress? I knew it wouldn’t be easy going back to school full-time, but I didn’t know it would be this hard. I thought that my part-time studies and full-time work would have prepared me for this, but it didn’t. I can’t count how many times I said to myself and to Him “I can’t do this, I made a mistake” (I’m sure he can’t either). I struggled through every class and every project, part fear of failing, part fighting to prove I could do it, and mostly just trying to keep my head above water and not quit. But a week or so after final exams, I can breathe a little easier and reflect, and this is what happened:

I had a breakthrough, an actual honest-to-God breakthrough, it happened slowly as my final marks came in (wait for it).

Now this post isn’t for me to brag to you and get you to congratulate me, or say “I knew you could do it”, this post is about me, for me; because I didn’t know I could do it. At the best of times I have pretty low self-esteem; sure I joke about how smart or funny I am, and I may have convinced you, but I certainly couldn’t convince myself.

Going back to school was the first thing I have done for myself in, well, ever. After years of trying to please everyone else I took a good look at my life and what I wanted out of it and made the decision (BIG thank you’s go out to “Little One” and Him for making it financially possible to make this happen, and for everyone for encouraging it). And yes, I was pretty proud of that, but this, this I achieved ON MY OWN, I can’t say I was just lucky, I can’t pass the success on to a team of people, I can’t say “well it’s all thanks to so-and-so” because no one else did my homework or wrote my exams. I did this, I made this happen, and I FUCKING ROCKED IT!!!!!

I can honestly say, probably for the first time ever, I’m so proud of myself and I believe I can accomplish my goals now.

So this post is to me in three months, six months, nine months, one year, two years and so on. Yes, you will struggle through, yes you will make sacrifices and yes it will be hard and there might be tears, but never doubt you can do it, because look what you did:

finalgrades

 

OH-EM-GEE: I Quit! September 18, 2012

Today I quit my job. YAY!

Well actually a week ago I gave notice for the end of December, but today they announced it publicly!!

So aside from the reasons listed on my Twitter feed, why am I leaving? Where am I going?

I will be going back to school full-time to pursue a new career in a completely different field, and I am FREAKING OUT!! This is the first time I have quit a job with no plan for income, not even long-term (long- long-term yes, but that’s about 4-5 years away).

I have been a marketing professional for 13 years, in many different fields for many different companies, and now (well as of the end of December) I am a full-time student. Man, even when I was a full-time student originally I worked full-time too. (But then I was in my late teens/early twenties, who has the energy for that anymore?)

*phew*

It was a difficult decision as a result of a wonderfully supportive partner. I could probably have done this on my own, but I know I wouldn’t have.

My studies and my new career path will be focusing on helping people, not people who need a new downtown condo, insurance, want to sell a TV show or market a product; but people who really need help, people who are having trouble adjusting to a new life or escaping the traumas of an old one.

I’m oddly proud of myself and my decision, totally freaked out about the future, incredibly excited and nervous about how I am going to live on less than a third of my current yearly salary.

But I’m pretty sure I can make it happen.

(Anyone have any good “Mr. Noodles” recipes?)

 

Oh Em Gee – Where does the time go? March 31, 2012

Filed under: OH-EM-GEE! — She @ 11:50 am
Tags: , ,

So three days ago I promised that I would blog this weekend, only three days ago was really three weeks ago? OK maybe a month, maybe more. But I swear it FEELS like three days ago. Life is speeding by at a ridiculous pace. I’ve been in my new apartment almost a year ago, I’ve been back at school for two years, TWO! Two? I’m not even sure of timelines anymore. It feels like I’m living my life on a treadmill.

Wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep, wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep, wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep, wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep, wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep, wake-up, work, school work, cook, clean, sleep… you get the idea. There of course have been small windows of time with friends, family, and yes the beginning of a relationship… but for the most part I feel constantly out of breath, like I’m running through my life. I need to stop, I need balance, I need… a nap. But you can’t stop living your life and I’m at an age where if I want to achieve my goals I need to push through and just, keep, going.

I just need a few more moments to catch my breath like I said, I need balance.

In the spirit of “I should be writing a research paper” I am working on another post for you, which should be up tomorrow (or next Tuesday or May). In the meantime any tips on time management (that don’t involve lists, because I have lists of list, I have a list addiction already), or well any comments at all, feel free to leave them below…

*she

 

Oh-Em-Gee! Who “Sucks” More?? January 24, 2012

*I’m back and I’m ranting!* 😀

Before anyone else sends me the article, yes, I did read the Vancouver Magazine Article, “Do Vancouver Men Suck?”  I also read a number of the comments after, a blog post on SweetLife Titled “The Dapper Gentleman” – which responds in part to the notion that “guys dressed ‘for video games in the basement: baseball caps and baggy T-shirts’” (Ashenburg, pg 1).  AND I read the response highlighted in Vancouver Magazine “Do Vancouver Women Suck? A Reader’s Response” 

And I have my own theory (of course I do), but you aren’t gonna like it… we need to stop blaming each other everyone in Vancouver sucks…

I too have blamed men for my dating woes, (read every dating post on my blog) BUT I’ve also taken some responsibility for the mistakes, for the lack of dates, the missed connections and misunderstandings. The first part of the “offending” article sounds exactly like I could have written it, or at the very least like Ms. Ashenburg and I had gin martinis one night and traded war-stories. And while I agree that men can be intimidated by women (I’ve actually lied and dumbed-down my profession to keep guys talking to me), that they dress too casually or that chivalry is a foreign concept in this city. I have to take exception to the fact that the article suggests that the women of Vancouver are exceptional, fabulous and above reproach. Have you tried to strike up a conversation with a girl in line for the bathroom at a club? Have you asked a girl where she got her shoes, or what the time is, or if she will hold the elevator for you? Have you, a Vancouver girl tried to make contact, any contact with another Vancouver girl you didn’t already know? No? Well let me save you some time, (of course with exceptions) Vancouver women in general are; self-important, self-conscious, social-climbing, competitive, self-involved and frankly most of us are bitches. Of course we love our friends and we are super generous and kind with the people we care about, but in public, in general we are terrible people; we have walls up, we are guarded, we view everyone – men and women – as potential threats and as competition. (I’m generalizing of course, but that’s what these articles do – they generalize.)

We can blame men all we want for the death of chivalry, there are theories that feminism has ruined men, has made it confusing as to who pays for what and when they can open doors. (Yes the struggle for women’s rights has put men down, *insert eye roll* FYI feminism is about equal rights not about who pays for dinner). But really when was the last time you were struggling with packages and a girl helped you with the door? Chivalry is dying because as a society we stopped being concerned with other people. For example- I saw a woman on the train ask an elderly lady to move out of the designated seats so her and her husband could sit next to each other! How can we think that is OK, and be all up in arms when we choose to put on 6-inch heels and a guy doesn’t offer to give us his seat on our morning commute? (For the record I do think the seat should be offered, but I’m old-fashioned.)

There is a general lack of concern for others in this city, a lack of respect for the well-being of our fellow Vancouverites, a lack of respect that people other than us have shit going on. This translates into our dating life as well. If we walk around all day in exercise gear, why do we expect a man to put on a collared shirt to take us out? If we constantly complain about not being approached at bars, why do we complain when a guy gets up the nerve to do so? Alternatively, guys why complain about constantly being shut down if when you approach a girl the things you choose to say are disrespectful, or if you approach her in inappropriate places? Girls are unapproachable because we have been taught to be with disrespectful behaviour from men. Men then in turn find girls intimidating.

It’s a vicious cycle and someone needs to break it, why not you?

Is this exclusive to Vancouver? Why when we go on vacation do men seem more attentive and more aggressive in approaching you? Why are women easier to talk to abroad? BECAUSE YOU ARE ON VACATION. You are relaxed, you are open to new experiences, you are looking to have fun and it is obvious. Why not try that same attitude here in your own city? (Advice I was given, thank-you M*.) And ladies, why not be nice to that girl in line in the bathroom, maybe she is playing “wing-man” for a cute single guy friend?

 

OH-EM-GEE Writer’s Block! April 25, 2011

Filed under: OH-EM-GEE! — She @ 10:15 pm
Tags:

I’m having the hardest time writing, at first I thought it was just because I was writing so much for school I just couldn’t write for fun. (To be fair it’s only been a week.) I’ve had some pretty fun stories I could write about; the first patio days of summer, girl talk, trying burlesque dancing, I’ve just coloured my hair redder (and getting some pretty positive feedback, *wink*), my first bikini wax and witnessed a very painful first date. But when I sit down to write, nothin’  or worse I get half-way through and what was a funny story turns into… blah.

I’ve complained that Twitter has changed my blogging because now I can rant quickly in 140 characters and get it out of my system. But lately my Twitter posts haven’t been as frequent or as funny as they once were.

What is it? How do I get my creativity back? Do I write through it? Do I go for a spa day? And more importantly, will any of you still be around? Are you there now?

 

Oh-Em-Gee Watch Your Mouth! AKA How to Lose a Girl in 10 words or less. January 30, 2011

I’m a firm believer in Karma, in “you get back what you give out”, which is why I am so troubled by the recent…*ahem* messages I have been getting from men.

For those of you just joining us I have been challenged to try internet dating, and while I have gone on some nice dates, and some bad dates (as expected); there is a trend – a very disturbing trend – lately in the messages that are coming through my inbox.

I’m not exactly sure how to explain these messages, so I will just go ahead and copy them below. Please keep in mind that these are all coming to me from different men, and that my profile clearly states that I am not the sort of girl that responds to this type of come-on (I don’t even know that kind of girl).

I feel the need to apologize for subjecting you to these, but I have to read them and I feel because of the challenge you should too:

1. “Do you taste like strawberries?” – I guess I should give him props for trying to show me he noticed my hair colour.

2. “Can I bite your bum?” – As far as I am aware there are no pictures of my ass anywhere on the internet.

3. “Can I lick your monkey butt?” – The fascination with my behind is starting to freak me out a little. P.S. “monkey butt”??

4. “Are you open-minded?” –Translation “Wanna hook-up with some random creep you met online?”

5. “Is it true what they say about redheads?” – If what they say is that you will never get one into bed, then yes, yes it is.

6. “Wanna Fuck?” – Seriously?!?!?!

7. “Ur hot, wanna meet?” – If you can’t be bothered to type an entire word I can’t be bothered with you.

8. “Do you like to role play?” – What like “rapist and rape victim”? No thank you.

And the one I received today:

9. “Are short girls really tighter?” – Oh my FUCKING GOD!!! What?!?! What sort of wild rumours go around about women in the locker room?! And more importantly what kind of person says that to someone?!?

Now, I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I am not opposed to “hooking up” or “friends with benefits” and I have never been called frigid (OK maybe once). But this recent objectification is a little insane, and has me more than a little concerned that there are women out there who fall for this shit.

Yes, I may be blowing things slightly out of proportion, but keep one thing in mind – these are the last 9 guys that got in touch with me. (Guy number 10 wrote me a poem, a freaking poem, which is creepy in a totally different way.) What on earth am I putting out into the universe? OK, wait – I know, I know, a few posts ago I was complaining about a dry spell, but the ‘Gods’ cannot possibly be responding in this way? I was thinking maybe dinner and a little too much wine, not “Can I lick your monkey butt?”.

Can I take a break from online dating now? Have I finally been subjected to enough? Can I go back to trying to meet someone at a bar? At least there they try to buy you a drink before saying something vulgar. Can someone please explain the Monkey Butt thing???

I feel like I need a shower.

 

OH-EM-GEE I have a blog! November 3, 2010

Filed under: OH-EM-GEE! — She @ 9:19 pm

Sooo, hi! I know, I know, it’s been well over a month since I last updated my blog.  There have been moments where I wondered absent-mindedly what I was forgetting to do. And there were times when I thought, “that would be PERFECT for the blog”. But alas, time got away from me…

So thanks for your patience (and for your nagging at parties), I’m back! And since I have decided to cut back on the online dating, I will have more time to write about why I am cutting back on the online dating.

I’ve also started tweeting, which I do with more frequency than my blogging (duh), although not as frequently as most. So, please feel free to follow me @notthatpositive, I think I am quite funny; also check out who I am following, they are often funnier.

So dear readers, rest assured I have kept notes and made reminders of my mis-adventures (and those of others) these past weeks to entertain you…

So tonight as an apology you get two posts, good night…