Ah yes I’ve been dating. *insert sarcastic tone here* yay f’n me… I remember why I stopped. It is terrible out here, it is vulnerable, it is confusing and it is…lonely.
I have been on at least one or two dates per week for the last few weeks/month. And frankly it is emotionally draining and I am thinking of ending it all and getting a cat.
First dates are like job interviews, you’re nervous, you want to say the right thing, and you want to be offered the job regardless of whether you actually want it. But the most terrifying thing to me is the few moments before your date arrives when you aren’t sure they will.
Here is a time line of my recent “date” with Will (this name has not been changed and if I could remember his last name I would tell you that as well).
Two weeks ago, we exchanged numbers, he was heading back East to see his family. We texted back and forth everyday, we made a date for Monday night. On Sunday, I confirmed we were still meeting, “Absolutely!” was the reply. On Monday afternoon he confirmed the place and suggested the time 7:30/8:00. (Now, I am always early, I don’t wear my glasses on dates so I’d rather they have to find me than the other way around.)
Since I promised I wouldn’t bail at the last-minute, I went despite the fact that I was under the weather. I arrived at 7:40 and texted him to let him know where the table was.
7:45 – No reply. Inner monologue “He isn’t coming is he? Don’t be crazy you always think that, he has 15 more minutes. What if he doesn’t come? I should have brought a book. Why won’t that girl stop looking over here and whispering?, etc.”
8:00 the waitress comes by again to make sure I am OK, pretty sure she just wants the table, and the people around me started to stare and whisper.
8:20 Roomie msgs she is leaving work, what am I doing? I am being stood up. She decides to come to my rescue.
8:30 I send Will a text, “I’m leaving the restaurant now”. Translation “You are an asshole, I’m leaving the fucking restaurant now you douchebag, who doesn’t even show up for a date after making ME promise not to bail?!?!?!!?!” I try not to wish for bad things to happen to him and I order a drink.
9:00 Roomie shows up we have a late dinner. Turned out to be the best date I’ve had in a long time. Thank God for Besties!
I’ve never been stood-up before. It is humiliating, why on earth would someone do that? How do you get back on the “horse”? How do you not take that personally? Did he show up and take one look at me and bail? Did he meet someone on his way to meet me? Did he get into a terrible car accident on the way and is now disfigured for life? (Must not think nasty thoughts…) Is he just an absolute douche or am I just a dud? Stupid boys, playing stupid mind-games. I had higher self-esteem when I wasn’t dating.
Does anyone have the number for the SPCA?